Fully Formed

The myth of the birth of Athena has the goddess of wisdom and warfare springing from her father's head fully formed.

When Buddha was born, he immediately began walking, and lotus flowers sprung up from where he stepped. We have stories of him having experiences leading up to his "sudden enlightenment" under the Bodhi tree, but as far as I can tell, he never really fucked up on his way to enlightenment.

Luckily for us, Buddha was able to set forth a way in which one could reach that same freedom. However, following such a path is not as easy as it seems. When we reach another educational milestone, we can often look back and see our missteps and the extra work we wouldn't have had to do if we had just known then what we know now...

We also do not know for certain what happened between Jesus' birth in the manger to when he showed up as the Messiah. We know the outcome, but we aren't quite sure what happened to get him from point A to point B. We don't get to see the mistakes, the corrections, the events which honed the character of this holy man.

Other figures in history (or myth) may have more of their early lives set down in print for us to study. We get to see how they were influenced, who they learned from, and how they "came into their own" eventually.

Many young monks study under Masters so that they can have a direct transmission of knowledge from those who have attained a certain level of distinction in the spiritual realm.

Because my path of personal growth involves both the spiritual world and the BDSM one, I often take the same questions from one into the other. There are many traditions, including Leather, where someone wishing admittance into this realm submits to a Master in order to grow toward either their highest form of submission/slavery, or to their own Mastery.

Although some of the more formalized paths to apprentice oneself have been lost in parts of the lifestyle, one can still find mentors. There are also groups which will help provide a template to judge one's progress in one's Mastery in the BDSM world. You can look at a rubric to determine how well you are progressing in skills acquisition, community service, household building, etc. There are classes you can take, books you can read, events you can attend...

Yet even though this progression towards one's highest calling (whatever that is) has a lineage and suggested possible "ways of becoming," there is still some notion that Masters should come fully formed. That although it's ok not to know things as a submissive or slave ('cause training is hot, yes?), if you desire to be a Master, you should have it all figured out.

Some of this might be because of a lack of good words to describe the growth process. I have heard some say they are "on the Master path," but what does one call a person who desires to be a Master, and yet has not attained a level to which they can claim Mastery? You can say you are a "Master in Training," of course. But are you really training under an actual Master? When do you know you have attained Mastery if you don't have an actual person mentoring you?

If there is no Leather gods to give you the title, I suppose you can look at the rubric and figure out if you've crossed off all the requirements. You can just put the title on your Fetlife page and not worry about it. You can wait until you have a person in collar that makes you feel like you can now prove you are Master.

I guess what always interests me as far as assuming titles is the "between times" when you are not a Master, and yet you are not truly a submissive or a slave either. I feel like everyone should always be learning things, and so education is never done. We all have room to improve until we're dead. But in the lifestyle, you are asked to chose words to describe yourself unless you are part of a unit which does that for you. Otherwise, it's up to you to decide when you have reached a state where you have earned the title you choose.

Again with the unstated beliefs, people don't usually feel like you "earn" the title of slave or submissive, which I think doesn't get talked about so much. You are one, and there is no level of attainment as far as title goes unless you want to "work your way up" to be a Master, which can imply something as well.

Half of what I know of M/s I learned from my former Master. He found Mastery to be his calling. He says that he thinks all Masters have doubts at some point about their abilities to accomplish things or to be the type of person they would like to be. But he never really doubted his desire to be a Master. It just felt right to him. He was able to learn and grow in tandem with his slave. However, they had known each other before the M/s dynamic came into play and perhaps they trusted each other more because of that.

He has said to me that you have to expect to fuck up. And you have the responsibility to make things right, no matter how long it takes. To him, Mastery is not the absence of mistakes, but the commitment to minimize them if one can and to correct what needs corrected.

This man was also my mentor in my zen studies. It is said that you can always tell who a student's Master is by the way the student thinks and is trained, as if there were a indelible mark left behind along with understanding. I also believe that it is a reciprocal state, that in any long-term relationship you begin to see the mark of the student on the Master as well.

My former Master gave me some advice concerning my growth in the spirit world. He said to not let fear keep me from learning what I need to learn, to take my time and not rush myself, and the thing he did not say (but I heard loudly) was to gain knowledge and understanding so that when you have power, you make quality, informed decisions that you hopefully will not regret. And if you screw up, you have the responsibility to fix whatever you have broken.

He also said that in teaching me things, he is extending his world view, his view of M/s, and his ability to affect positive change through me and my actions in the world.

I assume I will know it when I reach the points I'm supposed to reach, that I will step into the boots I'm supposed to wear in both worlds. Hopefully my growth and action will bring honor to him and to his house.

I am not stepping into this life fully formed. I am in the amorphous stage where there is much that is unknown. There is a discomfort to bear when one is shifting, approaching a "level up" energetically.

I take comfort in the fact I am not alone, and that I have been given the time and grace to grow...