Perhaps it's ironic that I am using the written form to talk about this... perhaps it's an occupational hazard to be preoccupied with the word.
I have always believed that the word is powerful. It can shape your thinking, your actions, your future. It can reveal your subconscious thoughts and deeply held beliefs. It can be used for healing and as a weapon. And as the more cynical among us know, it can also be used as subterfuge to hide what is real.
I'm not writing anything new here. People will know all of this. It was just brought into extreme focus for me during an interaction I had this weekend. I was working with a woman (Hollywood type who was "taking time off to get her ducks in a row")who kept spouting the mantras of being positive, affirming one's own success, and creating a compelling future vision. These are all things I myself have repeated at different times in my life. Then she mentioned that she had been told by a shaman that she should practice "radical compassion" in her life, and she felt like this was just the breath of fresh air she needed in her hectic day. She said that she had been practicing this and felt she really had a handle on what the woman meant.
It soon became apparent, however, as I watched her interact with several people with nothing short of contempt and anger, that she had no real notion of what it meant to be compassionate. I am not saying that compassion equals "doormat," but that one's sincere concern for the well-being of others is a gift, even if you cannot do anything for their condition. To make matters worse, it soon became apparent that my non-participation in her interactions had been taken by her as a sign that I agreed with her world view.
The most contemptible moment came when she was discussing a gentleman who had visited. She said she had seen him earlier walking through a park with another man, who she was sure was "more than just a cigarette to him," which she added a conspiratorial wink just so I would 'get' her comment.
I was stunned. I was suddenly remembering the voice-over dialogue from the theatrical release of Blade Runner where Deckard says of his Captain, "He was the kind of cop who used to call black men niggers." What kind of person who says they are enlightened and can practice radical anything says something like this?
I suddenly saw that no matter what she might say, she was harboring anti-gay sentiments. If she had not been, all she would have had to say was that she saw him walking with someone who might have been his boyfriend. Or she could have said nothing at all concerning his personal life and stayed in the professional bounds of conversation.
I felt energetically dirty after being in her presence. And it made me even more resolved to check my alignment on my words and actions.
I may also be taking a pause and making sure I'm coming from an authentic place when I'm talking about the mantras as opposed to regurgitating them in a judgmental, intellectually/spiritually 'superior' way. It makes me think that what is most useful in proselytizing things like positivity, compassion, and acceptance is just practicing them and acting as a good example.
So in this case, don't take my word for it... watch what I do. And if it looks like I'm failing to practice what I preach, maybe I just need a gentle reminder to re-read what I just wrote...
