You may have noticed a pause in the blogs being rolled out of late. This is not because I don't have things to say. I'm not often without words to share and stories that need to be born. However, there are some times when I seem to fold into myself and can't seem to bring things forth out of my mind and onto the page.
The last week or so I've been metaphorically "hugging the earth" in my meditations. I've been trying to ground, because there has been a lot of swirly, semi-chaotic seeming energy swirling around. I have also needed to be an emotional ground for people in my life. Two of my friends have recently been diagnosed with cancer (one has breast cancer, the other testicular cancer), I've had friends losing jobs, losing relationships, having to appear in court, and the upheaval of travel to boot.
I've also been doing a lot of personal "soul growth" in the last little bit, which is difficult to express or explain. Some of it has to do with the nature of the universe (which is one of the blogs coming through soon) and some is very personal regarding who I am and what I'm capable of doing (also blog-worthy:)
Suffice to say, this is why a number of the monk types like to have periods in solitude. I don't feel like we have the time any more to create large swaths for regeneration and contemplation. We definitely need to do it, but it seems like we are being asked to learn how to insert small spaces of that feeling in our daily life. While I have been repeating in Mantra that "we meet who we are supposed to meet and we do what we are supposed to do" it is sometimes harder to apply that surety and comfort to our endeavors. But we are also on a time schedule we didn't set and we are needing to hit nodes at a pace that one part of us believes is reasonable and the other part believes to be insane (and too much to expect of us mere mortals).
Some days it's really hard to show up. I understand that I am an energetic conduit, and all I need to do is show up here at the page and type what I know to be true. However, some days I am weak. Some days I am tired. Some days I don't have the personal will to be here for what I know I need to do. Some days I am not as aware of my connection to the universe and I feel lacking and sad. Some days, I am hijacked by fear, and I become speechless.
What finally keeps bringing me back is that I have the feeling that other people out there cannot wait for my leisure to hear my words. They need them NOW. And it's not just me. The world cannot wait for you, who are reading this, to bring forth that unique creation of which you are capable. In bringing it forth, you leave an indelible mark upon the world, and your creating sets off ripples in the universe. There are people out there who need your words, art, stories, food, smiles, love (etc.) and they cannot wait. You are serving the highest good/god in yourself by having faith that who you are and what you do is important both to yourself and to others. You are also serving the universe by bringing that to others and touching their lives in a way you may never see or understand.
We are a unique snowflake... and so is everyone else. Every one of us is important and every one of us deserves to be living a life that serves our highest good. It is not selfish to want to be your greatest self, because part of being your greatest self is that you will inspire others to be their greatest self just by your being alive and working toward actualizing your power. You are supposed to be happy. You are supposed to vibrate with joy.
This living on the planet is rough on us. We struggle, we suffer. But we are also here to create joy and to build inside ourselves the "muscle," the fortitude to come back to our work and life when things are difficult. Handling daily life with grace is wonderful, but grace under pressure is an even more amazing thing to witness...
So in the next few days, expect to see new blogs. I will work toward getting my ass in the chair and my fingers on the keyboard. And hopefully you out there reading this will decide to struggle and emerge victorious in your daily struggles and step forward to share your unique gifts with the world.
I may sound like a Hallmark commercial right now. To put it more plainly, I'm sorry life sucks so much, but there is beauty here and at least we are going through the growing pains together.
If nothing else, at least we know we're not alone.
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